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Unreplied-to messages sit in the "sent" folder as a grim reminder of your failure to connect with someone, almost prompting you to fire off another message saying "What's the problem? What is it about me that might or might not trump someone else?

" If you live in a city, the seemingly inexhaustible array of potential beaus strewn across these websites is part of the appeal.

In a thoughtful moment, you might even realise there are people you've had relationships with in the past who, if they appeared as an online match, you might reject.

And when you're the one being rejected, it can hurt. You join thinking you'll be nice and civilised and honest with people, but once people don't reply to your emails, you start doing the same to other people." Rejection may be a strong word to use.

Men will lie about their height, men and women will lie about their age, some people even upload photos of other people and pretend it's them. And once you realise this, internet dating suddenly feels as random as approaching strangers in a car park and asking them if they fancy you. Our natural impulse, encouraged by the way these websites work, is to seek people who like the same things as us.

It's like a fast-working drug with a terrible come-down." It's an addictive process, there's no doubt about it. One is the burst of elation associated with a stranger suddenly deciding that you're attractive, amusing, a good prospect.

New members on these sites receive a flood of attention that can be exhilarating.

I've got a number of friends and acquaintances who share my feelings about the way online dating plays fast and loose with your emotions.

These people are relatively undamaged and sane, without many skeletons in their cupboards.




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